by Mike Young




A question begged
A winding road the journey is to me

Divine guidance, remote but sure
Is teaching me I see

In two worlds living side by side
My conscience versus hunger

At their compatibility
I sometimes have to wonder

One way is perfection, ideals personified
The other deviation, "but I am me!" I cry

Two roads lying separate belie their unity
And at their end a union, a wholeness that is me ...

© 2005 Miike Young




I live in Wales, and I am writing to thank BENT for providing a valuable space where difference is not only accepted but promoted, allowing people like me to feel greater self-acceptance.

I've been tetraplegic since I broke my neck in a car crash in 1994. When I was eleven years old a helper sexually assaulted me at my local scout group in South London, an experience that prompted me to suppress my true sexuality for twenty years. For all that time my belief in God coexisted with my belief that my feelings for men were evil, a conflict that caused me untold misery.

My poem is about inner conflict and the resolution I have found since I came out in 2004.

I was unhappy to read the news that there would be no March issue of BENT. I hope my contribution is one small way to help BENT flourish, otherwise what forum will there be for a marginalized part of society like ours? I hope other readers will write for BENT as well.



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BENT: A Journal of CripGay Voices/May 2005